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Wise Words
When you are describing,

A shape, or sound, or tint;

Don't state the matter plainly,

But put it in a hint;

And learn to look at all things,

With a sort of mental squint.

~Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll)
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 The Circle of Lords Intro

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Stainqueen
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Stainqueen


Join date : 2010-06-19
Location : Planet Earth
Posts : 255

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PostSubject: The Circle of Lords Intro   The Circle of Lords Intro I_icon_minitimeMon Jun 21, 2010 2:02 pm

This is the introduction for a story I'm writing, please tell me what you think! :

Long, long ago, in the land of Redlox there lived a great, and powerful magician. This magician, who cared for his six children very much, created magical amulets to protect them. These amulets were made of emerald, ruby, sapphire, amber, and amethyst. However, these only add to five because the magician had forgotten to make an amulet for his youngest child, his only daughter. Some legends say that later on he created an even more powerful sixth amulet made of diamond for his daughter, but if one such exists, it has never been found.
There was once a prophecy that says a descendant of the Magician's daughter, who is also the youngest child, will find the diamond amulet and restore the greatness of Redlox. In the process, she will meet her soul mate, a protector who will help her restore Redlox to the way it was when the Magician lived, beautiful and harmonious.
The five known amulets have been passed down from father to oldest son for generations, and only those in possession of an amulet can sit at the sacred circle of Lords, the governing body of Redlox. If an eldest son doesn’t exist, that amulet is given to the next closest heir, as chosen by the council.
My father, Lord Brighton, is the current owner of the emerald amulet, and when my father chooses, the amulet will passed on to my older brother, Eric.
My name is Sophie Brighton, and ever since my mother died the day before my fifth birthday, I have been in the care of my two aunts, Lucey and Geanette. My fifth birthday was the day I came to live with them in Blue Ridge Valley, and this all changed ten years later, on my fifteenth birthday. The day my life would change forever.
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